Monday, April 18, 2011

Stuck Between a Window and a Window

It was a harrowing moment. For the second time in a month, I was going to make my wife late for work. There was a common thread – besides trying to do too much in a small space in time: Home Depot.

Like a vortex, I get sucked in there every time I go. There’s just too much cool stuff. Plus, my mind just wanders as I wander from aisle to aisle. Look at all the things I could be doing to fix my house. The following are actual thoughts that have run through my head while traversing said theme park:
• I totally need new hardware for my kitchen appliances.

• Who doesn’t need a riding lawn mover?

• Retiling a shower would be a cinch.

• My children need a 300 square foot treehouse.

I could go on, but I won’t. Yesterday I was focused: 3 items, no messing around. I found the paint, the brackets, and the lumber. Be home by 2:10pm. No worries, I was checking out at a quarter ‘til – plenty of time to even hit the Starbucks drive thru. But then…I forgot about loading the lumber. As I was walking to my car, I remembered I brought the wrong vehicle.

I attempted to load the eight foot 2x10s into my Camry – eight of them I bought. After number five I hit the panic button. It was taking way too long and the boards had practically glued themselves to my windshield and rear window. Between moments of cursing the selling of my truck, I knew I was in deep. The guy watching me in his car must’ve thought I was an idiot. He’d be right!

With every passing moment I knew I was getting dangerously close to coming home late. Finally I made the call. Gulp. Jana had to throw all three kids in the car and drive to Home Depot where she would switch cars and head to work.

I spent the next 10 minutes methodically coaxing each 2x10 to detach from my import and to think of the best way to eat humble pie. I chose to say nothing, feeling “sorry” was lame. After the switch was made she called and told me she loved me. Wow – undeserved for sure. But that’s who she is. 15 plus years of putting up with me and she still loves me – beyond tolerance. Maybe she knew her birthday is Saturday and by chewing me out I’d return that four carat diamond. Nope. She’s better than that. That’s not her style. She’s definitely a keeper

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